Once Upon a Blog…

*First, a note about formatting*

If you see a “Continue Reading…” link at the bottom of the first paragraph of an entry, click it for more torture. However, be warned: whereas before (on the old blog) the link would display the entire article on your screen, now (in the depths of Hell) the link will automatically jump to the next sentence/second paragraph in the post. This “next sentence” will be conveniently displayed at the very top of your browser, where you won’t be looking! So, if you approach my website from a logical standpoint you will probably skip the second paragraph in every post. Blame the new website; I have no control! I had thought about protesting this asinine formatting by writing completely nonsensical second paragraphs from here on out, but, upon further review, I realized I had been doing this already. It’s good to know I can retain my charming, winsome, and accidental style. And now for the “Continue Reading…” test…

New Games

Check out the “Shift Series” on the Games page:

Click Here

Welcome!

So, you made it to the new site… congratulations! Here’s everything you never wanted to know about the move, etc.

1) This site is hosted for free; so I don’t have nearly the features I had at the old site (including little control over how this crap looks– oh well).

2) Ironically, hosting the site for free is waaaaaaaaaay faster (but you already noticed that)!

3) I will eventually move my entire website (www.bernardbygott.com) to a new server that can actually handle WordPress. That way I will be able to use cool features, control how the blog looks, and make things go faster than a slug (hopefully). This should confuse you guys even more (yay!), because it will mean that the OLD address (www.bernardbygott.com/blog) will become the NEW address… again.

4) Did I mention that I hate all of this?

Back in Black

I don’t like taking showers. It’s not that I’m a dirty person, or that I don’t clean myself everyday; it’s just that everyday I postpone the process of cleaning myself for as long as possible. One problem with this strategy is that I also hate feeling dirty. In fact, the only thing I hate more than taking a shower is feeling dirty. So, in the precise moment when my disdain for feeling dirty has eclipsed my desire to put off taking a shower any longer, I am probably the most fearsome creature on the face of this Earth. I often try to alleviate the monster that is created by the meeting of these two hates by drinking heroic quantities of coffee, and reminding myself that water feels better than acid. But these tactics do little, and prove but temporary as the beast within me rages.

Stickman 4

A wise man quits when on top… I am no such man!

Another entry in the series…

Click Here To Read Stickman

Snippets of a Troubled Mind

So, I’ve been trying to write a post about the tragic subject of “what makes something funny”. This of course is one of the worst, most painful, and terribly unfunny possible topics ever dreamed; so, obviously I can’t stop myself from trying and beating my head against my head. I actually got so far as to post my entry (and I believe two lucky readers out there actually read it–my sincerest apologies) before I decided to delete it moments later and start typing the words you are reading right now. So, instead of sharing my original post with you and losing your readership for all eternity, I will share what I will term the “middle-lights” in no particular order and without regard for coherence:

Stickman 3

Another entry in the series…

Click Here To Read Stickman

Stickman 2 (revised)

*REVISED DUE TO EXTREME UNFUNNYNESS*

Click Here To Read Stickman

If you don’t know what this is, read all the excuses in my post entitled: “Stickman in Philly”.

Stickman in Philly (revised)

I started writing this comic when I was performing in New Hampshire/Vermont (it’s complicated) with The Northeast Shakespeare Ensemble in the summer of 2006. I tried to write the strip everyday for about a month. Like I said: I tried. I did at least write more than I should have– and for that I was proud. Last year I headed “Northeast” again, tried the strip again– proud again! Anyhow, I figure now that I have a blog I can write the strip every week, or month, or as little as possible. Now, while I was in White River Junction, Vermont (I think), the comic was ingeniously called “Stickman in White River Junction”. Notice how I left out “Vermont”… That was my idea! It’s all about the creativity, baby! But, I figure now that I’m in Philly I’ll just call it “Stickman with Cheese”– brief, accurate and tasty.

Here’s all the background you’ll need in order to get in on the story.

1) I can’t draw.
2) No, I don’t actually have the right to use any of these images.
3) There is no story.

So, without further ado, I give you something hardly worth the extensive introduction, certainly unoriginal, and probably offensive to those who actually have talent… Stickman…

*REVISED DUE TO EXTREME UGLINESS*
Click Here To Read

Supplemental Spiritual Material

If you have read “He Giveth, He Taketh”, you are invited to browse this supplemental material.

Serves as an opening hymn at all masses:

Video

When you need to get your Chan on:

Dragon